Dating gave up
Usually I would put my aspirations on the back burner. It’s actually a great feeling knowing you control your happiness.It’s amazing being the only person I have to impress. You don’t have to rely on a guy, and he can’t ruin your amazing day.It hurt and there is still it a numbing feeling looking back. I knew I didn’t want to be hurt, second guessing everything, and wondering when the next guy will cheat on me. I could feel my heart was broken and unable to heal. I needed to put myself first because at the end of the that’s really all who I have.It didn’t matter if they were “good guys,” or the famous “not like other guys.” This was too much for me. I started to think about all the things I wanted in the next year. I have so much to accomplish and goals to achieve before, and guys always come in the way. I plan to do this for a year, but who knows maybe I’ll like it so much it will be longer.I was only online for four days when Matthew came into my life.He was amazing and within a couple of weeks I was besotted.It wasn’t easy, I promise, because I’m a pretty big flirt.
I was born in 1943 into a working class family in Maitland NSW.Until they realized they had to put in effort and actually get to know me. Every time I felt like there was something wrong with me. But, instead of walking away feeling loved, I felt teased, mistreated, angry, and hurting.It wasn’t worth waiting for them, and they soon left. The guys had used me for what they needed, and when I was no longer of use to them, they left.I made contact with 38 and had dates with 9 and sex with 1 suitable prospect. Then Matthew came back into my life and I fell straight into his arms.I was definitely only looking for someone in my own socio economic group and found the quality of most men on the internet unsuitable. I knew that his past behavior was a prediction of what his future behavior was going to be, but I threw caution to the wind.