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Today an estimated one-third of marrying couples in the U. met online, and as many as 15 percent of American adults have used dating sites or apps.(Even Martha Stewart, who in 2013 declared in her Match profile that she was looking for a “lover of animals, grandchildren, and the outdoors.” Martha, have you considered Raya, the private celebrity dating app?Online dating is the way to go—you just have to learn to work the system.” So take heart: Whether you’re a first-time player or a seasoned contestant who wants to up her game, our troubleshooting guide is here to help, with advice from both experts and survivors on how to search strategically, handle setbacks gracefully, maintain sanity, and enjoy the ride—with minimal agony and maximum ecstasy. Seven years ago, I signed up for Match.com, but I never took it seriously.

There are a few profile-writing strategies to optimize the likelihood of interest from potential matches. Keep in mind the rules of first-date conversation and apply them to how you introduce yourself to strangers online, too. Keep your profile upbeat and focused on all the great things you have to offer and are looking for in a new relationship.I should make my messages personal, advises Hoffman: “Comment on something in his profile and follow with a question.” Dutifully, I tell one bespectacled prospect, “I like melty ice cream, too. ” I have some interesting chats, but nothing leads anywhere. He’s into photography and makes his own pasta—and he is an Adonis.After a lengthy back-and-forth with a cute guy who asks why I’m still single (beats me! We have a short phone call, as Hoffman recommends, to set something up. That’s online dating: You meet the freakazoids and think, Ghosting happens to the best of us, says therapist and dating coach Melanie Hersch.Who wanted to be one of those lonely hearts trolling the singles bars of cyberspace?These days, however, the New York Times Vows section—famous for its meet-cute stories of the blissfully betrothed—is full of couples who trumpet the love they found through Ok Cupid or Tinder.

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