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“If [income is] important to you, I’ll provide that information up front and you can decide immediately,” he says.Wallach says he gave “zero consideration” to potential mates’ incomes—except when he saw they were higher than his.“Men just want a woman who is productive doing something.I’ve yet to see a man discount going out with a woman because she makes too much or not enough for him.” But the statistics suggest otherwise.“When I read that a man is making only ,000, I am turned off,” she says. “Absolutely not.” On the other hand, Abbamonte generally doesn’t believe a guy when he says he makes over 0,000, since there isn’t any way to verify that people are giving accurate estimates of their income.In fact, a 2010 OKCupid report found that 20% of its users said they made more money than they really did, presumably to make themselves seem more appealing.
Personally, I didn’t think I’d been trying to hide anything when I’d left the salary category on my own profile blank, but seeing my date’s number made me sheepish about my own income (about ,000 a year)—and glad that I hadn’t revealed it.
(Stats on interactions between same-sex online daters are harder to come by.) RELATED: 8 Financial Red Flags in a Relationship For some, ruling out possible matches based on their income means being realistic, not superficial.
Alix Abbamonte is a 33-year-old freelance publicist in New York.
Gina Stewart, an online dating coach with Expert Online Dating.com, says that my salary shame is unfounded.
“Most men don’t seem to care quite as much about what a woman makes as much as women care what men make,” says Stewart.