To much dating
“We started talking about getting married, and I guess her conscience finally got the best of her.
She told me that the “small, almost totally paid off” student loan she had was actually much bigger and she hadn’t been paying on it in years, plus she had some other debt, and was basically overwhelmed by all of it and didn’t really know how to go about dealing with it, so she just kinda hid from it.” For Rochelle, the big problem wasn’t even the money itself.
Love conceptually exists for most people like a bit of a reprieve for the other big parts of adult life, all of which seem drearily governed by logic.
Falling in love is about , not thinking, or at least, that’s what most of us grow up thinking.
When it comes down to it, weighing the importance of someone’s debt is completely an individual judgment call.
Rochelle, 32, found herself suddenly considering the weight of all of these issues when her girlfriend of two years revealed she had been hiding debt for the duration of their relationship.About two months into seeing each other, “the other shoe dropped,” as Melissa, 34, puts it now, laughing.John was carrying around ,000 worth of student loans and credit card debt — and he wasn’t really doing much about it. He had a great job and seemed goal-oriented about the rest of his life.It’s one thing for someone to make you laugh, but when you’re talking about hooking your life to someone else’s, it only stands to reason that you want to be sure they aren’t going to tank your whole situation.And when you’re thinking or talking about integrating finances — even hypothetically, before the first date, when you imagine how this person might fit into your life — the stakes are huge.